I was holding Ellie on a flight the other day and the flight attendant said, "Wow, she's so cute! You know, when people see her, they don't even see you! It's like you're not even there." To some, this might seem offensive, but I was thrilled. I was having a day where I hardly had two seconds to get myself ready, so I looked frumpy and tired. The thought of people only seeing my cute baby when they looked at me was a relief!
But this comment got me thinking. What I really desire is that when people look at me, they see God. They see His love, His generosity, His power. My hope is that my frumpiness and messiness wouldn't get in the way of people seeing the Father in His glory when they interact with me.
Lately, I have felt like a mess. And if I'm totally honest, I've been one. I (still!) haven't been sleeping, can't seem to get out of the house much because of Ellie's nap schedule and generally feel chronically frazzled. But you know the beauty of the gospel? It's that God choses to use messy, tired, frazzled vessels for HIS glory and HIS good.
So, I come as I am. Frazzled and all. And I pray that simply but showing up. By showing love and care for the person set in my path for the day, that God would be seen. That His love would trump my mess.
And at the same time, I stand in gratitude. I'm grateful for my frumpy, messy, tired season. Because without a doubt, I know that I have nothing to offer on my own. I am nothing special to see right now. BUT, by reflecting the King, but sharing the love of Christ, I actually have someone to give those around me. I'm grateful for the reminder that He is enough, even (or especially) when I'm confronted with my messiness.
My prayer is that just like when people ew and aw over a cute baby and totally ignore the person holding that child, that people would also be drawn to the strong, capable and omniscient love of Christ despite the vessel that is carrying His Spirit.