Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The Power of Noticing

I am currently reading No Greater Love by Mother Teresa. In the book, she mentions a family she met when she lived in Calcutta. The family had eight children and had not eaten for several days. When she heard of this family, she took food to them and was struck by the evidence of their hunger on their thin, disfigured faces. She handed the mother a bag of rice. The mother immediately divided the rice in two and carried half of the rice out of the house. When she returned, Mother Teresa asked the mother where she had gone. The mother replied, "To my neighbors; they are hungry also!"

What Mother Teresa wrote afterwards struck me. She said, "I was not surprised that she gave- poor people are really very generous. I was surprised that she knew they were hungry. As a rule, when we are suffering, we are so focused on ourselves, we have no time for others."

YES. Dagger to the heart. This is true of me.

When we are suffering, we are consumed by ourselves. So much so that we usually do not have much capacity (or desire) to concern ourselves with the suffering of others.

This past March, I was extremely grateful for the timing of our Serge Regional Retreat. The retreat fell three weeks after Will, Justin and I evacuated from Mundri (and 5 weeks after the Wallaces had to medically evacuate). I went into the retreat thinking about how difficult our lives where. I couldn't stop thinking about how hard we had it- we were nomads going around with only the contents in one suitcase for heaven's sake! In my mind, our team was in the most transition and suffering.

But you know what happened at that retreat?

I listened. I listened to the stories of the other missionaries and heard what they were going through.

In the end, their suffering looked a lot like my suffering... it was painful and it was real. We heard stories of chaos and transitions, of mourning major losses and deaths that stung at a deep level. We watched tears that were the evidence of heart desires not being met and feelings of disappointment and discouragement. And through it all, my heart grew softer and softer and drifted father away from my own problems and suddenly became a lot more concerned over the pain of my friends. This didn't negate what I was going through- the pain of the transitions was still very real. However, it made me less concerned by the weight of my own struggles and reminded me of the importance of "carrying each others' burdens".

When we enter into each others' suffering, we help carry the load. The mother in the first example helped carry her neighbor's burden by bringing her rice. She easily could have seen the gift from Mother Teresa as a blessing just for her and her family. But instead, she knew her friend was just as much in need as she was. She couldn't take the gift for herself when she was aware of her friends' burden as well. What a beautiful example of Christ's love. When we are aware of our neighbors' burdens, we are compelled to respond. Not only are we moved to action, but our burdens no longer seems as big. When we are able to see the sufferings of others, we quickly realize we are not the only ones suffering. We also realize we are not alone and the load gets lighter with more hands on it.

So, whatever you are going through right now, I challenge you to take time to look around you. Take time to listen to your friends and the stories of your co-workers. Enter into their pain and be willing to walk along-side them in their suffering. As you hear of their struggles, my hope is that yours will be brought into perspective as well. As you lift a hand to help with the burdens of others, I hope also that you will be encouraged and feel your burden getting lighter at the same time.

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