Tambourines

My heart has been in a confusing place recently. I have been sure that God is calling us to continue to pursue South Sudan and returning (when we are able to), but have not felt content in the "in-between" period.  My heart is unsteady and discontent. I believe fully that rejoicing will come and we will have more answers eventually, but the waiting is killing me. I'm tired of not having answers to questions about the future, I'm exhausted by the unknowns and the chronic uncertainty and I continue to be worried for our friends in Mundri.

God reminded me this week about what it looks like to wait well in hope through a story in Exodus 15. Prior in Exodus, Moses and Aaron plead with Pharaoh to let the Israelites go and worship God. After many, many plagues and destruction, Pharaoh finally allows the Israelites to go saying, "Hurry and leave the country. For otherwise, we will all die" (this came after the plague on the first born children and the Egyptians thought if Pharaoh didn't allow the Israelites go, everyone would be killed). About 600,000 men (plus women and children) left with their livestock and headed to Succoth.

When I picture the exodus of these hundreds of thousands of people, I imagine mass chaos in the beginning. I picture everyone scrambling to grab whatever they can carry with them and hurrying to get out of Egypt as quickly as possible. There was no time for dilly dallying.

God appeared to the Israelites as a pillar of cloud during the day and at pillar of fire during the night so that they would know where to go and so they could travel by day and night. Pharaoh ended up changing his mind about allowing the Israelites to go after he realized how difficult it would be to lose their services. He sent his army to find the Israelites and bring them back to Egypt. God rescues the Israelites from the Egyptians by allowing Moses to part the Red Sea so the Israelites could pass safely and the Egyptians were eventually swallowed by the sea.

Throughout this exchange, Moses said one of my favorite lines in the Bible. "Do no be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Ex. 14:13-14

After God delivered the Israelites from the Egyptians we learn about a beautiful woman named Miriam. Exodus 15:19-20 says, "When Pharaoh's horses, chariots and horsemen went into the sea, the Lord brought the waters of the sea back over them, but the Israelites walked through the sea on dry ground. Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron's sister, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women followed her, with tambourines and dancing." 

Miriam's anticipation of rejoicing is absolutely beautiful to me! As someone who recently had to flee a place with little notice, I know that you only have with you the things you decide to pack while you are scrambling to leave hastily. Miriam didn't just find a tambourine when it was time to celebrate, she had packed it with her in anticipation of being able to praise the Lord for rescuing them from the Egyptians. What faith! She knew there would be a time when rejoicing would come, even when leaving in the midst of tragedy, distress and oppression.

As Will and I continue to be in a place of unknowns and unanswered questions about the future, I want to be someone who anticipates times of rejoicing and prayers being answered. I want to always have my metaphorical tambourine packed in my backpack in hope of what is to come.  I don't know how He is going to make a way for us to return to Mundri yet or protect our friends while they are still in the bush, but I am waiting in hope and trusting that the day will come when our friends in Mundri are safe and we are able to be with them once again. And on that day, my tambourine will be out and in use- praising the Lord who can part the Red Sea and make a way where there seems to be no way. In the meantime, I will chose to rejoice in the one who hears my prayers, all-the-while anticipating in hope that those prayers will be answered soon.